Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Blessings From Above

Blessings From Above


{L to R: Mittens (back), Amber (front), Ashley (back), Pearl (front), Teddy, Punkin, Tammy}

Our Lord grants us blessings
With every critter that He sends
For us to love and hold
And be our furry little friends.

God has bestowed on us
Warm fuzzy gifts from above;
Pets of all sizes and shapes –
Four-legged bundles of love.

We promise to care for them,
Unconditionally,
Faithful to the very end –
Our solemn guarantee.

However, time is short;
We have only a little while.
Our blessings from above
Fade into mem’ries and a smile.

Written by: Robyn Lynne Stacey
Date: February 4, 2007
In Memory of Ashley Mae 5/14/2000 – 1/30/2007

Four Feet In Heaven


We received the following poem 2/3/2007 from Dr. Wellman & his staff on a sympathy card. I thought it was very nice and worth sharing. So...here it is.



Four Feet In Heaven
by
Alice E. Chase

Your favorite chair is vacant now
No eager purrs to greet me
No softly padded paws to run
Ecstatically to meet me.

No coaxing rubs, no plaintive cry
Will say it’s time for feeding –
I’ve put away your bowl
and all the things you won’t be needing.

But I will miss you, little friend
For I could never measure
The happiness you brought to me
The comfort and the pleasure.

And since God put you here to share
In earthly joy and sorrow
I’m sure there’ll be a place for you
In Heaven’s bright tomorrow!

The Rainbow Bridge


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge…

This bridge connects Heaven and Earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors.

When a beloved pet dies, he/she goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows, hills and valleys of lush green grass and fields of flowers for all our special friends to run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine keeping our friends warm, comfortable and happy.

All the animals who had been old, ill and frail are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

There is only one thing missing – one sorrow they endure. They each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth.

To keep from their sorrow, they run and play together until the day comes. Suddenly, one or maybe several, abruptly stops playing and looks into the distance. The nose twitches. The ears perk up. Bright eyes are fixed. An eager body quivers in anticipation. Suddenly, this one, or several, begins to run from the group. His/her legs carrying him/her faster and faster towards…you!

You have been seen. When you and your special friend(s) finally meet, you embrace him/her/them in your joyous embrace, never to be parted again. Happy kisses rain upon your face. Your hands again caress the beloved head(s), and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet(s)…your friend(s), so long gone from your life but never absent from your memory or your heart!

Then, you cross the Rainbow Bridge…together…never again to be separated.

Compiled by me from two similar versions…both authors unknown.

February 14, 2007 (Wednesday)

Happy St. Valentine’s Day my little sweetheart.

We picked up little Miss Ashley about 4pm today.

Exactly 3 mos. Until Ashley’s 7th birthday.

Ashley’s ashes were placed in a very nice cedar box with a nameplate on the top and a small padlock with a set of keys. They placed the cedar box in a royal blue velvet-like drawstring bag with these words in gold script writing:

"Until we meet again at the Rainbow Bridge"


Also included, a certificate from Pinehill Pet & Horse Cemetery in Bowie, TX. The certificate reads:

Certificate of Cremation
Gone but not forgotten
This certifies that on
February 8, 2007
“Ashley”
Beloved friend and companion of the
Stacey Family
was cremated by Pinehill Pet and Horse Cemetery.
(signed by) Brother Ben Larsen

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

And God Asked the Feline Spirit



And God asked the feline spirit,
“Are you ready to come home?”
“Oh, yes, quite so,” replied the precious soul,
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
to decide anything for myself.”

“Are you coming then?” Asked God.
“Soon,” replied the whiskered angel,
“But I must come slowly
for my human friends are troubled.
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.”

“But don’t they understand?” Asked God,
That you’ll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is…forever and ever and ever.”

“Eventually they will understand,”
replied the glorious cat.
“For I will whisper into their hearts
that I am always with them.
I just am…forever and ever and ever.”

~ Author Unknown ~

Friday, February 2, 2007

January 31, 2007 (Wednesday)

I called Dr. Wellman’s office to let them know Ashley passed away. We brought her body to them about 10:45 a.m. They have a pet cemetery that also does cremation pick the critters up once a week. Unfortunately, that day was today. The people came earlier than usual today because we got snow.

Now, Dr. Wellman’s office has to hold Ashley’s body until next Wednesday, February the 7th. They said her urn/ashes box should be ready for pick up the following Wednesday, St. Valentine’s Day, February 14th.

Ironic, I get my little bundle of love back on St. Valentine’s Day.

Interesting and ironic, also, is I will get her back as ashes – her nickname was “Ashes”.

As for the other kitties, this morning, Ashley’s sister, Cindy, came by to see her and appeared to offer her final farewells, as she left, she suffered an asthma attack. She’s ok though. Teddy, who always considered Ashley his girlfriend, even though the feelings were not mutual, spent the morning searching the living room for her in all the places she used to go. When he couldn’t find her, I picked him up and showed him where she was. He looked at her intently – as if waiting for her to move – then panicked and ran to another part of the house.

The house seemed a little empty and quieter today.

I also called Dr. Harris’ office today. Donna, one of the assistants, said she was sorry and that she’d let Dr. Harris know when she gets back next week.

Another entry will be made when we pick up our little sweetheart on St. Valentine’s Day. We will find a special place for this special little girl.

I hope you know I did all I could for you and everything I did (the long car rides to Dallas, hand feeding, taking you out from under the couch, giving you medicine, etc.) was for you with hopes of giving you a chance!

Farewell, my sweetheart, rest in peace. Be with Jesus, Dad and all our furry friends until someday we meet again! I'll love you always! XO

The last entry will be the Rainbow Bridge & a poem I wrote for Miss Ashley.

January 30, 2007 (Tuesday)

I got Ashley up this morning for her breakfast. She was having a difficult time breathing through all the congestion. I cleared out her right nostril which had a lot of mucus build-up.

I set Ashley in front of the water bowl, and she got a drink on her own. I, then, placed her in the litter box, and she peed. She got out of the litter box on her own and lied down on the floor. I picked her up and placed her in the usual place I feed her. I feed her in a medium-size box – a Kraft cheese box from Sam’s. It keeps her in one place; so, she can’t back too far away from me when I hand feed her.

Ashley lied down in the box. This is not normal. She’s very weak. She couldn’t sit for long periods to eat. I hand-fed Ashley, but it was very difficult, and she fought me quite a bit. I managed to get her to eat her usual ¼ can of cat food. Ashley struggled to eat and breathe. She seems to be still breathing partially through her mouth. The sides of her mouth blow out slightly as she exhales. She gags sometimes as she tries to eat and swallow because of the mucus she’s also swallowing.

The noise she makes sounds kind of like, as Mom described it and I have to agree, a percolating coffee pot.

After Ashley finished her breakfast, I gave her the Clindamycin. Hopefully, it will help her with her congestion. I followed the Clindamycin with a little bit of water from her little bottle.

I placed Ashley on the couch to rest, which she seemed to be doing.

Today is Tuesday. Dr. Wellman has surgeries all day today; so, I will have to wait until tomorrow, Wednesday, to call and see if there is anything else we can do for her. She can’t have any Dexamethasone until at least Friday and the Clindamycin doesn’t seem to be working.

Mom had a doctor’s appt. today. When we left, Ashley was resting on the couch. I made sure her nose and mouth were clear of mucus. I gave her a kiss and hug and told her I loved her and I’d see her later.

After returning home, I checked on Ashley. She had some mucus coming out of her nose. I took her out from under the couch and cleaned out her nose with a tissue (Kleenex). While we were out, we stopped and got two new kitty beds to try to make her more comfortable. One is a pad-like bed that’s supposed to keep them warm with their own body heat. The other is a low-rise round bed. We figured she could use the low-rise bed to rest her head on as she tries to sleep, as she rests upright with her feet tucked under her. She doesn’t sleep on her side much lately because of the congestion going down her throat.

After cleaning her little nose, I placed her in the low rise round bed. She laid in it until I got her supper. I let her rest first because she seemed so peaceful. As expected, she first laid upright with her feet under her and her chin resting on the low rise sides. She then lay on her side. I was surprised to see her lay on her side, kind of peaceful-like. I let her stay until about 7:30 – 7:45 p.m.

About this time, I took her to the litter box. I placed her in front of the litter box because I knew she was weak. I didn’t want her to fall – her legs sometimes give out because she’s so weak – into the litter. She just laid down where I set her down.

I took her and placed her in the box where I feed her. When I placed her there, she laid down. She made some congestion noises, and I tried to talk calmly to her telling her it was time for supper. I put a very small amount of food on the tip of my finger and placed it in her mouth. She tried to eat it but it was a struggle. I tried with a couple more small fingertips of food. I had to really pry her mouth open but with her paw she pushed me away. I could see she was really struggling. I decided after she ate a very small amount not to force her. There really didn’t seem to be a way to feed her with her breathing so bad. She kept gagging on the congested mucus as she tried to swallow it. For a moment, I think she may have choked a little on the mucus, as I had to tap her on her side, because her tongue came out of her mouth on one side and her eyes got a little glazed. When I tapped her side a couple of times, she sort of snapped out of it.

I picked her up and sat in a chair with her. I took a warm wet face cloth and washed the food from her mouth, face and paw and the mucus from her nose. I sat there and held her as she struggled to breathe. I told her I would call Dr. Wellman in the morning to see if there was something he could give her or me to give to her. Then, again, she started having problems with the congestion as if she may have gagged on the mucus. I tried to make sure her head was not leaning back, so, as to not let the mucus drain down her throat. Then, suddenly, as I held her and she clung to me, her body twitched. Her tongue again came out slightly. I tried to tap her side again, but she began to get very limp. Her legs twitched a couple more times and then her body released, resulting in her peeing and going completely limp.

It was approx. 8:05 or 8:10 p.m.

I held her until I was completely sure she had passed away. I cried and told her I was sorry. I did all I could. I didn’t know what else to do.

As I said to her, I was going to call Dr. Wellman’s office tomorrow to find out if there was anything else we could give Ashley instead of the Clindamycin while waiting for Friday for her to be able to have another injection of Dexamethasone. I didn’t call today, as I said, because I know he does only surgeries on Tuesday. I guess I should have called anyway, maybe he would’ve had something he could have given her or us to give her.

Maybe she’s better off. I’m sure she’s gone to see Jesus because she was so sweet. It’s too bad she was so young – 6 yrs old, just 3 ½ months shy of her 7th birthday.

Now, tomorrow, I’ll have to call Dr. Wellman’s office and Dr. Harris’ office. Dr. Harris won’t find out until next week when she gets back from vacation.

Meanwhile, I placed Ashley in an old laundry basket with an old pillow, complete with old pillow case, in it. I allowed the other cats and the dogs to go up to the basket and sniff around. I did this with Gizzy, our last kitty that passed away due to cancer. The other critters seem very interested. They all knew she was sick and seemed to show a great deal of concern. Hershey, one dog, would look at Ashley and then us. With concern and wrinkling up his face, he would look at us like "fix her". Copper, another dog, would sit by her and baby-sit her; so, no one could bother her. One by one, each of the cats would go up to the basket and check on her. Some would sit and stare. I wondered what was going through their minds. One, the youngest, Katy, has never seen another critter pass away. She honestly appeared to not understand. As Ashley lay in the basket, Katy placed her paws through the holes in the basket attempting to try to play with Ashley's paws. When she didn't get a response, Katy would just sit and stare at Ashley. This was repeated for about for about 20 minutes. Finally, after staring at Ashley for a few final minutes, Katy went about her business. This way the other cats and dogs were able to see what had become of Ashley. I didn't want them to wonder where she went. I wanted them to know what happened and to understand Ashley didn't just disappear. I left Ashley's body in the basket for the night. I placed an old towel used for the critters over her body, except for her head. I placed her beside my bed; so, she would be near me. All the other cats and dogs got their chance to say good-bye. Ashley was a great big part of their lives, as she has been of ours.

January 29, 2007 (Monday)

Because of Ashley’s upper respiratory infection resurfacing after the Dexamethasone wore off, I had to hand feed her. She fought me a little bit by using her paw to try to push my hands away from her mouth. She’s having a tough time trying to eat and breathe through the congestion, which has come back. Her throat has swollen back up, as well.

I thought our prayers of her “cold” were answered, but I guess the prayer of peace for her was instead. She had a couple good peaceful days with purring enjoying her family.

I called Dr. Wellman’s office to find out how often she can get an injection of the Dexamethasone. He said once a week. I also asked, for how long she can take the Clindamycin. Chelsea, Dr. Wellman’s vet tech/assistant, was relaying messages for me to him and back again. She said she’d have an answer for me when I stop by to pick up some more Clindamycin, which I was about to do. When I did, Chelsea said she hadn’t had a chance to ask Dr. Wellman yet. When I got there, they were very busy. She said she would find out and get back to me.

Ashley’s breathing and congestion is getting worse. She fought me all throughout her supper. I’ve had to clean out her nose a couple of times tonight.

I can’t seem to stop her from going under the couch. She’s very restless because she’s having difficulty breathing and can’t rest.

The Clindamycin doesn’t seem to be working on her “cold”. I don’t know if there’s anything else she can have other than the Dexamethasone. I just pray that we can break up the congestion and clear up this “cold”.

Tonight, she is alternating breathing through her nose and mouth. If her breathing through her mouth gets worse, I’m going to have to call to see if there’s something we can do.

Chemo Note

Ashley seems to handle the chemo injections fairly well. Obviously, I can’t ask her if she’s getting an upset stomach or not. She doesn’t seem to be losing her hair either at all or much. I have not witnessed her hair falling out in tufts, excessively. I have seen a couple small tufts of a few hairs, but nothing significant.

The chemo has reduced her immune system. It is proving difficult to get rid of what should be a simple upper respiratory infection.

Ashley has experienced weakness but it could also be because of the disease. She has also had problems with constipation. We were told this is common. However, it may be her water intake as well. We told the vet tech at Dr. Harris’ office that sometimes she only has the liquid, plus any additional water I add, in her canned food. She said that she should be getting enough. Lately, with the Clindamycin, I have put water in a small animal nursing bottle and squirted a little in her mouth to help get rid of the bitter taste of the Clindamycin.

January 28, 2007 (Sunday)

I offered Ashley 9 Lives Flaked Tuna can cat food, which is what the other cats ate for breakfast today. She sniffed it but didn’t want to eat it on her own; so, I tried to hand feed it to her. It was very difficult. I decided instead to give her what she had been eating – the open can of Authority. She ate that fairly well.

Ashley got her Clindamycin about 11 a.m., after I got home from church. Ashley stayed on the couch the entire time we were gone. She stayed there most of the day.

I can still hear some difficulty breathing in her. She seems alert, though, and interested in her surroundings.

Around 8:30-9 p.m., Ashley decided to go under the couch to rest. I had to get her out about 11 p.m. to give her the 2nd dose of Clindamycin.

I have not noticed her drink at all today. The only water she’s had, as far as I know, is the water I add to her can food and the little bit I give her from a small animal nursing bottle to rinse her mouth of the bitterly bad tasting Clindamycin.

January 27, 2007 (Saturday)

We are expecting another cold front to drop us down to freezing temps again.

I hand-fed Ashley breakfast. She did very well. She didn’t lean over to lean on me to eat, as she had been doing with this “cold”. She ate all of her breakfast willingly. She even sniffed it before I gave it to her and looked like she was going to try to eat on her own. She also peed.

I placed her on the couch with her towels. Her breathing sounds a lot better. No more congested noise.

I gave Ashley her Clindamycin about 10:30 a.m.

Ashley spent the day sleeping peacefully on the couch or watching the day’s activities. She was very different from yesterday – almost back to her normal self.

I hand-fed Ashley her supper. When I washed the excess food from her face, I noticed the swollen glands on the right side had gone down considerably. I brought her back to rest on the couch. I had Mom feel her throat on the right side. We were amazed at the difference. Mom, at some point afterwards, while petting Ashley, noticed the left side had also gone down considerably. I feel it, too, amazing. She doesn’t seem to be too congested anymore either.

Ashley has been alert and interested in her surroundings. She even wanted up on the counter with the food; however, she did not eat. She poked around a bit, but only got a drink.

I put her back on the couch to spend the night.

We also noticed one other thing while petting her on the couch…

I could hear some faint sound coming from her when I kissed her on the nose. I put my ear to her side – she’s purring ever so faintly. I haven’t heard her purr in weeks, possibly almost a month. It was on the way back from Dallas sometime; I can’t remember exactly. My prayers for her to beat the “cold” have been answered…or so it seems, let’s not jump to conclusions. Now, hopefully, God will cure her of this nasty cancer. He could’ve taken her now with the “cold”, but He didn’t (yet). He gave us renewed hope, instead.

January 26, 2007 (Friday)

I hand-fed Ashley, which proved to be difficult because of her “cold”, upper respiratory infection. She is extremely congested to the point of a very audible congested noise in her breathing and sometimes breathing through her mouth. Ashley got her Clindamycin dose at 11 a.m.

Ashley’s appt. with Dr. Harris in Dallas is at 2 p.m.

Ashley’s weight dropped from approx. 11 pounds to 9.6 pounds. As I mentioned before, her hind quarters were starting to hollow indicating body mass loss such as muscle. This seems to be common in cats with cancer, as two previous cats, Tigger and Gizzy, passed away due to cancer. Tigger dropped from 15 pounds to 5 pounds. He died December 16, 1999 at 16 ½ yrs. Gizzy was 12 pounds at his heaviest. I don’t know how much he weighed when he finally passed away in my arms November 20, 2003 at the age of 16 ½ yrs.

Dr. Harris examined Ashley and noticed the new area on the right side that seems a little swollen. She wondered if it is due to the cancer spreading or the severity of her upper respiratory infection.

Dr. Harris wanted to due a CBC (complete blood count) and give her another chemo drug. This drug is called Doxorubicin. (I assume the CBC is to check to see how she is handling the chemo treatments and to if she will be able to have the Doxorubicin.) They gave us an estimate of the charges for the CBC and chemo with all the other items needed to administer the chemo. In the list an indwelling catheter was listed. At first we thought this meant she would be catheterized for peeing. Afterwards, I realized they used something they called a catheter the very first time they injected her with the chemo in her legs.

They left us alone to discuss the treatment amongst ourselves. We were very concerned about her “cold” and the chemo. I was also very concerned about having to leave her there over the weekend. (At first, as mentioned above, we thought she was going to have to be catheterized and stay there.) I figured I can keep her at home and monitor her and get her to an emergency clinic if necessary. I was very concerned about her upper respiratory infection becoming worse over the weekend causing her death. I did not want to leave her to die in essentially a stranger’s care – or at least non-family. I did not want her to feel we abandoned her in her final hours.

We discussed these concerns with the technicians. They said she would not have to stay there over the weekend. The CBC would only take about 10 minutes. After the CBC, they would know whether or not Ashley could go through with this chemo treatment. She would be able to go home when the treatment was over; it shouldn’t take long. We asked if the emergency clinic next door had a way to contact Dr. Harris over the weekend in the event of an emergency. They said yes, but that Dr. Harris will be going away for a week. They can contact the technicians though, if necessary. Also, they told us to make sure anyone who needs to treat Ashley in an emergency knows she’s a chemo patient and what drugs she has been given and is currently taking.

They left us again to go discuss our concerns with Dr. Harris. When they returned, they told us Dr. Harris decided against the new treatment at the moment because of Ashley’s upper respiratory infection, the weekend and her being out the following week. She also told them to wait on the CBC (they were going to do it to see if she could handle the chemo while she has the “cold”)…no point in putting her through all that since she won’t be getting the chemo until she’s over the “cold”. They told us the new drug may make her temperature, which was a high normal of 102.4F, spike. It would also lower her immune system more. We all decided it was best to wait. Instead, they gave her an injection of 2mg of Dexamethasone. They told us to stop the Prednisone pills for 3 days, as they can’t be taken with the injection, but continue the Clindamycin.

On the way home, Ashley had a hard time breathing. We had to stop at Kroger for cat litter and Ashley rested.

I had to take Ashley out from under the couch for her supper. She had mucus draining from her left eye, her nose and mouth. After cleaning her up, I hand-fed her. She fought me a bit, but we got most of ¼ can down. She got a drink on her own.

Ashley has been very thirsty tonight with the meds. She has gotten up several times on her own to get a drink. She has been sleeping in 15 minute to 30 minutes intervals on the couch, the rug and in pillow-filled, towel-lined basket, as well as on me. She seems to be resting a little better as the night goes on.

January 25, 2007 (Thursday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. It was long and difficult, as she is still having difficulty breathing due to the upper respiratory infection. She makes a strange noise – like a harsh rattle-like sound; I guess you could describe it. I’ve never heard such a sound before. The sound is loudest when I am trying to feed her and just before she is due for another dose of Clindamycin. She has peed today.

I noticed this afternoon, when we were giving Ashley her Prednisone pill, her right ear was not as warm as it was yesterday. It was fairly cool all day.

Also, of note, a couple days ago – I didn’t want to mention it just yet, but figured I should – I noticed either the swelling in her throat is able to be felt from her right side slightly or it has traveled to the right side. We’ll have to see if Dr. Harris notices it tomorrow. See what she says.

Ashley was still a bit restless today with her “cold”. She has a hard time resting.

I have her propped up on the couch with towels supporting her; so, she doesn’t roll backwards. It seems to be helping a little. Before, she would roll backwards as she got more relaxed. When this happens, her nasal passages drain down her throat causing her to gag and possibly get an upset tummy.

Ashley ate a little under ½ a can of Authority can cat food today. She really fought me to feed her. She kept pushing my hand away with her little paws. I calmly talked to her trying to convince her it would be better for her to eat. Now, if only she understood English.

January 24, 2007 (Wednesday)

I hand-fed Ashley most of her ¼ can of breakfast. Ashley has an 8:45 a.m. appointment with Dr. Wellman this morning.

Dr. Wellman confirmed my suspicions. Ashley has come down with an upper respiratory infection. He said it hasn’t gone to her lungs yet – that is good because pneumonia can be deadly. At the moment, it seems to be only in her nasal passages. Dr. Wellman asked us if we had any Clindamycin at home. We do. Clindamycin is an oral antibiotic. I like to keep it on hand for alternating with Cindy’s (Ashley’s sister) prednisone for her asthma. For some reason, unknown to us, it helps her, although not as well as the prednisone. Also, I keep it on hand in case any of the cats come down with an upper respiratory infection over the weekends or any other infections like scratches from slapping at one another. Dr Wellman told us to give her 25mg twice daily for at least 5 days to a week. She also has a slight fever; however, he didn’t tell us what it was. I forgot to ask.

Ashley’s first dose of Clindamycin was at 10:30 a.m., when we returned home, after a couple errands (a pharmacy run for Mom and picking up some dog food).

Ashley has been very listless and quiet except for difficulty breathing through her nose.

I hand-fed her supper. I tried to force her to eat at least half of her usual ¼ can serving. She fought me pretty good trying to push my hands away with her little paws, but I got her to almost finish her entire meal. I know she needs to eat in order to get stronger.

Ashley got her second dose of Clindamycin about 10:30 p.m.

Also, of note, Dr. Wellman says the Prednisone, in addition to the chemo, would reduce her immune system, allowing her to be susceptible to other illnesses and viruses.

Late, between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m., Ashley began having a lot of problems breathing. We were worried if she might actually be dying. Her breathing was kind of noisy – guess it could be congested, but it sounds very strange. Being late, naturally there’s no one to call. We did take her temperature because her right ear felt a bit warm. (Her left ear is usually always warm because of the inflammation from the lump.) Ashley’s temperature was slightly higher than 102F.

After taking her temperature, Ashley became very restless. She got up, and I helped her to the litter box, as she has to keep stopping for breaks. She doesn’t have the strength to walk for long distances. She goes a little bit, stops and lies down. Then, she gets up again after a short rest and goes a little further. She peed a good bit, and then she headed for the water bowl. She stopped about half way to the water bowl for another rest; so, I placed her in front of it. She rested a little while and then got a long drink. She then headed back to the couch.

I wonder if the Clindamycin makes her thirsty. She seems to be drinking more today than the past several days.

I placed her back in the couch and arranged some towels we keep just for the critters around her to help keep her propped up. I noticed that when she lies down on the couch, she tends to roll to the back of the couch as she falls asleep. This causes her nasal passages to drain down her throat causing her to cough/gag/choke on it. I figured if I could keep her upright or with her head slightly raised, like on a pillow, and leaning a little forward, she might not have so much drainage down her throat. This might help prevent some of the gagging and upset tummy she seemed to be experiencing.

I wish I had known she could have the Clindamycin on Tuesday. I would’ve started her on it; since, Dr. Wellman couldn’t see her right away. I didn’t know she could have it with the chemo, and I had to be sure that it was an upper respiratory infection first.

My other fear is that the other nine cats will come down with this upper respiratory infection now; since, Ashley is so sick with it.

Wouldn’t you know it – later, Taffy started sneezing. Have to watch her.

January 23, 2007 (Tuesday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. When I was washing her face after breakfast, she sneezed and got out some nose stuff. She still makes a noise with her nose as if she’s breathing through mucus (snot). Ashley is also still breathing a little through her mouth. I’m wondering if, with the cold weather we’ve been having, she caught a cold. I called Dr; Harris’ office and asked them if she needed to be seen by them or Dr. Wellman. The receptionist wrote down what I explained to her about what’s been going on and said someone would get back to me.

Dr. Harris’ office called me back; they said Donna, one of the assistants/techs, said we could take Ashley to our RDVM. I asked it that meant our regular vet, Dr. Wellman. She said yes.

I called Dr. Wellman’s office and asked if he could possibly see her today. I know Tuesday is usually his surgery day; so, I don’t know if he can fit her in. They said they’d have to get back to me, as Dr. Wellman just started a surgery.

Mary, Dr. Wellman’s receptionist, called me back – She asked if I could bring Ashley in first thing tomorrow, Wednesday, morning at 8:45. Dr. Wellman could meet us there then, as he is extremely busy today with surgery. I agreed. Mary said she’d try to remind him all day today about meeting us at 8:45 a.m. tomorrow to make sure he comes in early.

Ashley has had a little bit of a problem again today with not being able to rest for long periods. After a bout of rest and some sleep, she wakes up, I’m assuming, a little nauseous. She begins to lick and swallows a lot. This is typical when she’s going to heave as if to throw up, but only gags getting up only a small amount of liquid.

Tonight, after I fed her, she got sick and threw-up a little of her supper.

Between 11 p.m. and midnight, Ashley did seem to go fairly deeply to sleep, as she lay quiet and began breathing deeply. After about an hour, she started to get restless. She got up off the couch and started to heave and then gag. Eventually, she went under the couch to try to get some rest.

January 22, 2007 (Monday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. She seemed to eat breakfast fairly easily and willingly.

Ashley rested most of the day quietly – not like yesterday. As mentioned yesterday, she did not gag too much today. She seemed to rest peacefully on the couch.

Ashley ate supper fairly well, but didn’t finish it. She ate most of the ¼ can I gave her. I hand-fed her, though.

She got a couple little drinks today. She also peed a couple times.

Late, about 1 a.m., Ashley got up and seemed a little restless. I led her to the litter box and she peed. Shortly after that she gagged her usual two times. I tried to offer her some food incase she was hungry. She had a couple bites but didn’t want anymore. I offered her some water but she only took a lick or two. I noticed her breathing was a little heavy and different.

I tried to listen closely. It seems as though she sounds like she has some fluid, congestion or something, as she makes a slight sound similar to that when breathing. As I observed her breathing, I noticed her mouth was very slightly, and not with every breath, going in and out. I know with her sister’s asthma, that this is a breathing difficulty, as they are breathing through their mouths. It means they are not getting adequate air through their nostrils. I am wondering if the lump in her throat is pressing against her esophagus in such a way it is hindering her breathing. Or, if the cancer has possibly spread to her lungs. (Imagining the worse case scenario.) Yesterday, I mentioned that I noticed a “hollowing” of her hind quarters. I wonder if animals experience the same issues as people when they do not get adequate oxygen going to all areas of the body. When Dad became sick with breathing difficulties, he lost weight and mass and also had a “hollowing” and skin and bones look to him. I’m not so sure any treatment is going to work at this point.

I had my hopes up because the vets said there was an 85% chance of recovery. However, this is so new, there’s not enough info out there – or so it seems. If Ashley id not breathing better tomorrow, I’ll have to call Dr. Harris’ office for advice or at least to let them know how she’s doing.

January 21, 2007 (Sunday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. She’s still having the heaving then gagging problem. I also have noticed a noise that I can’t figure out if it’s her breathing or something else. It doesn’t seem like she’s having a problem breathing. Her breathing doesn’t seem labored or anything. If she’s still making the noise on Friday, I’ll have to mention it to Dr. Harris.

Also, I’m not sure if she’s losing any muscle. Her weight seems to not have changed that much each time they weigh her at Dr. Harris’ office but she seems to be a little hollow in her hind quarter area. I have not weighed her to see if she has lost any weight.

Ashley drank a good bit today that I noticed at one sitting. She also pooped two small approx. ¼” - ½” balls. They still seem somewhat hard, but was – or seemed – a little easier for her to go. The hairball medicine must be working a little bit or it’s because she’s drinking a little bit. Also, on Friday, January 19th, they – Dena at Dr. Harris’ office – said we could try to give her pumpkin – not the pumpkin pie mix that Libby’s makes – just plain pack pumpkin in a can. Not a lot – less than a teaspoon to help with the constipation.

January 20, 2007 (Saturday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. She still doesn’t seem to be feeling to well. She has been waking up (unless she’s only resting at the time) and having sort of gag attacks. She has them usually when we’d give her the prednisone pull or when I get her up to eat or pee after she’s been sleeping/resting for a long time. Ashley seems as though she starts to heave like she’s going to throw-up, but usually gets nothing up – sometimes she gets a little bit of spit or some yellowish bile if she hasn’t eaten in a little while. This attempt to throw-up makes her gag or hack. She usually does this twice before settling back down.

I don’t know if it’s the chemo, the cancer, an upset tummy or the lump pressing on her esophagus. If she’s still doing it by Friday, January 26th, I’ll have to mention it to Dr. Harris to see if there’s anything she can figure out to do.

January 19, 2007 (Friday)

I hand-fed Ashley today because we had to take her to Dallas to Dr. Harris’ office for another chemo treatment. They called yesterday and asked us if we could come in today.

It is cold and rainy today. On the way down to Dallas, we had turned the heat on a bit because it was so cold. Ashley seemed to get a little over-heated. She started panting a little. We shut down the heat, and she seemed a little better.

We drove Ashley to Dr. Harris’ office. We didn’t see Dr. Harris because Ashley didn’t actually have an appointment. They didn’t charge us an office visit that way, just an injection fee. Dena, one of the assistants/vet techs, gave Ashley her injection between the shoulders, as they do the annual vaccines, in the waiting area. This chemo is the expensive one to give to one small cat; so, Dr. Harris wanted us to try to wait until she had some left over from another patient. The chemo has to be mixed and then used in a certain amount of time – something like 24 -48 hours. They saved enough for Ashley and asked us to bring her in. The chemo is… (I will have to call them to find out what the name of this chemo is. Update will follow as soon as I know)

On the way home, Ashley seemed a little uneasy. It was again really cold; so, we tried to turn the heat on again for a little while to get the chill out of the air. This time we kept an eye on Ashley for her to pant. Ashley, again, started to pant. We shut the heat off. Ashley calmed down, but she still seemed upset. The rest of the afternoon Ashley seemed upset. She gagged a couple times. I’m thinking she may have an upset tummy.

After I fed her supper, Ashley seemed slightly calmer. She was willing to eat her supper. About an hour and a half to two hours after Ashley ate her supper, she got down off the couch and got a drink – a good drink – by herself. She seems to be feeling a little better. Maybe the heat, the car, the chemo added to her maybe being hungry caused her tummy to be a little sick.

January 18, 2007 (Thursday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. She tries to throw-up when we give her the prednisone pill. I don’t know if the lump is swelling again or if she just chokes on the pill or saliva. When we go to give her the pill lately, she begins to salivate and froth to the point of drooling uncontrollably. Either an upset stomach (retching with the thought of taking the pill) or trying to swallow the pill makes her try to throw up. She usually doesn’t, but she does gag really hard. Her tongue turns dark red and comes out quite far. I try to watch the color of her tongue in case she starts to choke to the point of a blue tongue. Of course, I don’t know what I’d do if she did, really.

We are starting to wonder if her constipation isn’t because she’s not getting enough to drink. She usually gets a little to drink on her own after I feed her, but she, then, goes a long time without drinking. Ashley doesn’t seem to have a problem peeing, but I have heard, oddly enough, peeing has to do with eating and pooping has to do with drinking. Ashley managed to get 4 small balls of poop out tonight after her second dose of hairball medicine.

Dr. Harris’ office called while we were at Dr. Wellman’s office picking up prednisone chews for Cindy, Ashley’s sister. They want us to bring her in tomorrow, Friday, for a chemo treatment. The one we’ve been waiting for. I’ll try to mention about the drinking, the constipation, and her gagging when we give her the pill and when she strains to poop and sometimes when I pink her up to feed her.

January 17, 2007 (Wednesday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. She managed to poop today. It still seems she’s a little constipated, as the poop is small round balls that are hard. I gave her some hairball medicine for it. She seems kind of listless and quiet today.

January 16, 2007 (Tuesday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. Nothing real significant to record today.

January 15, 2007 (Monday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. Ashley has been up and about a little more today. She has gotten up on top of the cupboard to sleep a few times. She also has slept on the couch. Ashley has peed and pooped a little today.

January 14, 2007 (Sunday)

The storm is still here – or we’ve been through a couple according to the weather people.

I hand-fed Ashley today. She has been sleeping on the blanket on the couch most of the day.

January 13, 2007 (Saturday)

The storm has arrived. It’s getting colder.

Ashley wants to eat but doesn’t seem to really know how to do it without swallowing. I hand-fed her. She was quiet today, as it is cold and stormy.

I offered Ashley her supper, but ended up having to hand feed her. Ashley has been sleeping on a blanket on the couch to keep warm.

Ashley got up late – after midnight. She wanted to eat. She got up on the counter by herself and began poking around the bowls of dry food. Ashley nibbled on some Whiskas dry food. I offered her some can food. She ate at least 1/8 of a can. She also got a drink. She, then, went to the litter box on her own and peed. She went back to her spot on the blanket on the couch for another nap.

January 12, 2007 (Friday)

Ashley has an 11:30 a.m. appointment with Dr. Harris in Dallas. I didn’t have time to offer Ashley a chance to eat on her own; so, I hand-fed her.

We are expecting a cold front that is bringing an ice storm and rain with it. Luckily, it is not here yet. It’s only misting.

We saw Dr. Harris. Ashley weighed in at just over or about 11 pounds. She really wants to give Ashley that certain type of chemo mentioned earlier, but she says it’s expensive to give to a little cat – about $180 – without sharing it with another animal. If we could split it with someone else, it would only be about $30 or so. Ashley’s lump seems to have gone down a bit according to Dr. Harris. I can’t tell because we are with her all the time. Dr. Harris offered Ashley a 10mg Prednisone pill inside a “Pill Pocket” – both the salmon and chicken flavored. She refused it. Dr. Harris decided to wait on giving her a chemo treatment today. She’d really like to give her the expensive chemo mentioned above, but currently has no one she can share it with. Dr. Harris didn’t want to give Ashley another dose of Cytoxin so close to her last one. Dr. Harris told us if she has someone need the expensive chemo during the next 2 weeks, they’ll call us to come down for a treatment; otherwise, she wants to see Ashley in 2 weeks. Dr. Harris told us to continue giving Ashley the prednisone every day to help keep the swelling of the lump down.

The storm hasn’t arrived yet, as we begin the trip home. As we were coming up US75 into Sherman, it was misting and became a little harder. Once on US82, the weather became heavy with downpours.

We dropped Ashley off at home. We, then, quickly did some food shopping for us and the critters before the storm arrived fully.

Ashley didn’t seem to want to eat on her own for supper. I hand-fed her. She ate about a ½ can today.

January 11, 2007 (Thursday)

I offered Ashley to eat on her own, but she didn’t want to. So, I put her in the litter box to go to the bathroom in the event she had to go. She peed and tried to poop. She must’ve pushed too hard, as she upset her empty stomach and threw-up a little spit. I gave her a couple minutes to recover from that ordeal before offering her breakfast again. She looked like she didn’t know if she wanted to eat or not; so, I hand-fed her. Ashley ate between 1/8 – 1/4 of a can. When she refused anymore, I brought her out to the counter with the rest of the bowls of can food and dry food. She poked around a little but ended up getting down.

She went to the litter box. Ashley tried again to go poop. This time, she managed to get some out – about 2 pieces ½” - 1” long (each). They are still pretty hard. I’ll have to give her more hairball medicine later, as she got it late last night. I’ll have to let Dr. Harris know tomorrow when she goes for her re-check appointment that she still seems a bit constipated.

Ashley has been quiet today. She has not been up and about much at all today. I figure it could be a few things. She could be constipated. Maybe the chemo she had last Friday is affecting her. Maybe she’s just having a bad day. I wish these little critters could speak and let us know. I wish she could understand we’re trying to help her.

I hand-fed her supper. She sniffed at the dry and the can food, but didn’t take any. However, when I hand-fed her, she did not fight me. Ashley usually fights me if she really doesn’t want to eat. She has a way of letting me know. She either spits all the food back at me every time I put it in her mouth or she paws at my hand to push my away. Ashley ate all of her supper – about ¼ of a can.

About 11 p.m., Ashley came out from under the couch on her own. She sat in the kitchen – appearing to not really know what she wanted. I put her on the counter to see if she wanted to eat. She licked at some can food but not much. I put her in the litter box. She didn’t seem to want to go. Ashley came back out and got a little drink. After she walked around a little, I put her on the couch with me. She seemed to want to rest, but seems slightly restless.

January 10, 2007 (Wednesday)

I offered Ashley her own bowl of food – ¼ of a can. She ate some on her own; then, I hand-fed her the rest to make sure she had enough to eat.

Ashley ate on her own a couple times during the day – some can, some dry. Ashley, like the other cats really only likes fish and chicken in canned cat food. In people food, however, their tastes vary for each cat. Ashley also ate a small amount of Tender Vittles.

At suppertime, I, again, offered Ashley a bowl to eat on her own. She ate about a quarter of it on her own. She gets distracted easily. I hand-fed her the rest of the bowl. She ate about ¼ of a can. I, then, placed her on the counter with the rest of the bowls of can food and dry food.

Ashley peed today, but no poop yet. She doesn’t usually go every day anyway, but I’ll watch her.

She’s slept a lot more today. It could be because she’s getting more to eat at one time. She may have been up a lot yesterday because she was hungry. Now, I’m making sure she finishes her bowl, even if I have to help her. She’s not fighting me too much until the bowl is almost empty.

Ashley had another 1” or so of hairball medicine to help with constipation.

January 9, 2007 (Tuesday)

Ashley was sitting on the counter waiting to be fed this morning. She ate on her own a mix of can food and dry food. She eats out of every bowl on the counter. By suppertime, I let her eat out of one bowl. She didn’t finish the bowl on her own; so, I hand-fed the remaining of the bowl to her. She then began eating out of another bowl (another cat’s supper). She ate a little more than ¼ of a can of food. She also ate some dry food.

She tried to go poop yesterday – last night. She tried for a while but only got a hard ball out. I called Dr. Harris’ office to find out what I could give Ashley for constipation. I had heard hairball medicine worked for constipation in cats. They said that would be helpful. They told me to give Ashley 1”-2” of hairball medicine once daily for 2-3 days. It should help. I gave her about 1” tonight.

Ashley has been fairly active today. I think she’s been a little more active because she’s not eating a lot at once, but rather, she’s eating a little throughout the day. Because of this, I’m not sure she’s getting enough to eat. Tomorrow I’ll make sure she’s eating more at one time.

Ashley’s been sleeping both on and under the couch.

January 8, 2007 (Monday)

Ashley ate on her own. The swelling (lump) in her neck seems to have gone down some. She is eating can food mostly, but trying to eat dry food.

I went to PetSmart to get some moist food like Happy Cat. I haven’t seen it in a very long time, but I thought I would check to see if they still make it. I ended up getting Tender Vittles, which is very similar. I thought Ashley may be able to eat a softer food rather than dry food. I also got a new brand of canned cat food, Authority, which lists their food as “traditional loaf” style. It is a very soft, smooth textured canned food; however, a little paste-like. Any chunky-type food is difficult to chew and swallow. Then, again, all our cats like the “traditional loaf” style over the chunky, sliced, bite-type canned foods.

Ashley began drinking a lot more on her own today, as well.

Ashley has been up and walking around the house a lot today, almost as if she’s been wired. She has been constantly on the go. I’ve had a hard time keeping up with her.

When she sleeps, Ashley sleeps under the couch and on the couch. She tried to poop, but seems to be constipated – she did just a little ball.

January 7, 2007 (Sunday)

I hand-fed Ashley today, as we had to go to church. I didn’t have time to wait for her to eat on her own. She has been interested in eating on her own but isn’t quite able.

January 6, 2007 (Saturday)

I offered Ashley to eat on her own. She wanted to eat but doesn’t seem to know how to go about eating without swallowing. I, then, hand-fed. Her to make sure she got enough to eat. She ate about ¼ of a can. She cleaned herself, which she wouldn’t do last week. She drank on her own.

Ashley took one of the 10mg Prednisone pills rather well and fairly quickly. She knew it was coming and began to froth a little, but she didn’t fight too much.

Ashley got up once on her own to go to the bathroom, get a drink and try to eat about 4 p.m. She ate a couple of bites of dry food. It is hard for her to chew the pieces and swallow them.

I offered her supper. She ate a bit on her own, but when she finds a piece she has to chew, she stops eating. She did fairly well on her own, but I wanted her to finish her bowl to make sure she had enough to eat. I hand-fed her the rest – about ¼ can of food. She got a drink, cleaned herself and jumped on the couch to take a nap. I gave her a little blanket to lie on, as she has found she likes the blankets.

January 5, 2007 (Friday)

Ashley tried to eat on her own. She ate a couple of bites of Meow Mix Seafood Medley dry cat food. She licked at her bowl of 9 Lives Chicken & Tuna can cat food. Finally, I had to hand feed her to make sure she got enough to eat. She ate her whole bowl – about 1/8 of a can. After she ate, she got a long drink on her own. She peed before she ate.

1:30 p.m. – Ashley’s appointment with Dr. Harris in Dallas. She examined Ashley. We told her about how Ashley’s been eating since her first chemo. We also reminded her about Dr. Wellman giving her another cortisone shot. She made a note that we don’t know what started the lump to reduce in size…the first chemo injections or the cortisone. She decided to try something with a different chemo. She had to check to see if she had some we could split the price with someone else because of the cost. One of Dr. Harris’ assistants came back with Cytoxin, instead, and injected it into her back in the same fashion animals receive their annual vaccinations. Cytoxin is apparently called “Cyclophosphamide”, as this is what is listed on the invoice. This is not the chemo mentioned above that she wanted to try on her. She didn’t have the other chemo available in a small dose yet.

We also told them, the assistants, Ashley had a hard time taking the 5mg Prednisone pills two times a day. We told them we can usually get the first one in her but not the second. They got us some 10mg Prednisone pills for her to take only once per day. We asked what the Prednisone does for her. They said it helps to reduce the inflammation, which incidentally is the reason the lump area is usually very warm. We had made a note that the left side of her throat where the lump is up to her left ear is warm, and sometimes quite warm, and we mentioned it to them. They said the warmth is due to the inflammation. They also told us about something called “Pill Pockets”. You place the pill inside a small treat-like pouch and press it closed around the pill. They are very soft and easy to manipulate. These “Pill Pockets” can be found at PetSmart in the cat area. We tried one with the 5mg Prednisone pills and gave it to Ashley’s sister, Cindy, as she takes Prednisone (5mg only) for her Feline Asthma to keep her airways open. Prednisone is a steroid that is used in animals for different treatments. It is commonly used for the treatment of Feline Asthma.

Ashley did lose a pound since her last visit. She weighed in at just less than 11 pounds. Dr. Harris was a little concerned, but as we spoke, we wonder if her difficulty eating is the reason for her weight loss. It is common for animals with cancer to lose weight. Two previous cats we had, Tigger and Gizzy (short for Gizmo), both lost a great deal of weight by the time they passed away from untreatable cancers.

When Ashley got home, she was exhausted from the trip to Dallas. She didn’t want to do anything but rest. She slept for a few hours.

After she tried to eat some can and dry food by herself, I hand-fed her supper. She drank on her own.

January 4, 2007 (Thursday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. The lump seems as if it might have gone down some. She is showing signs of wanting to eat on her own, but she seems to not really want to swallow.

Eventually, she would just leave the food. At that point, I would have to hand feed her.

Late at night, about 1 a.m. – now January 5th, Ashley came out from under the couch on her own. She tried to climb the ladder to get on the counter, but she had difficulty negotiating the two steps and the counter. I helped her onto the counter. She made a real effort to try to eat on her own. She nibbled a few bites of Whiskas (a fairly large morsel dry cat food) and ate a very small amount of canned cat food with a little water added to make easier to eat.

January 3, 2007 (Wednesday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. She has a difficult time swallowing still. Lump has not gone down yet. She tries to put food to the back of her mouth and Chew. While chewing, she sometimes makes a noise that sounds kind of like her grinding her teeth against each other.

Ashley has begun sleeping under the couch. I presume to get away from me since I have been forcing her to eat and putting her in the litter box.

January 2, 2007 (Tuesday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. She ate 2-3 times today eating 1/4-3/8 of a can of food. I have been feeding her 1/8 of a can of food at each feeding. She is drinking on her own, as well as going pee. She is becoming increasingly difficult to give her prednisone pills. We are using a pill administrator for animals (or pill popper), but she still fights and manages to spit out the pill.

I called Dr. Harris’ office to ask again if she can get another cortisone injection to help reduce swelling, as she is having a lot if problems swallowing. They said she could. Dr. Harris’ office said to call Dr. Wellman and tell him if he has any questions, to have him call them.

Dr. Wellman’s office asked me to bring Ashley in about 4 p.m. When we got Ashley there, Dr. Wellman gave her an injection of Methylprednisolone at about 4:30 p.m.

January 1, 2007 (Monday)

I hand-fed Ashley today. She ate 3-4 times today eating approx. 3/8-1/2 of a can of food.